Ann’s Retreat Reflections: Part I
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It’s hard to even begin to get to the heart of what I wish I could express about this weekend–to even begin to wrap my mind around the sweet energy, love, and SOUL that our locals and guests brought to our little event. I am so moved by the generosity and openness embodied by every person. I know that people had their struggles and their challenges, and possibly weren’t always dealing with ideal circumstances, but for me the 3rd Annual Hoop Path Retreat was overwhelmingly marked by the presence of an undeniable Energy, a Force that animated pretty much every moment of the retreat for me, opening doors, removing obstacles, smoothing rough spots, lightening burdens, and facilitating connection. All things that presented themselves as potential disasters, whether logistical, interpersonal or otherwise, easily yielded to this Force and folded into a manageable shape without my having to do anything except stay Present. This weekend was for me so many things and contained so many lessons, but one of the greatest of these was the reminder to stay with Way and allow it to open, to remember not to resist what is, to allow others access to their experience without making them responsible to me or to anyone else. I must say that my belief in the phenomenon of Energy was powerfully stoked by the weekend in its entirety. And I have all of you–the locals and the guests who joined in with their good Energy and positive intentions–to thank for that. Thank you. (Warning: I might say that 400 times in this blog-note).
The story of HPIII began months ago, when we local Hoop Pathers broke our self-imposed restriction on “talking about the retreat” : > in January of this year. Baxter’s and my highest hope was that our locals could experience the retreat as fully and as leisurely as any guest (lessons taught by HPII) and I want to thank each and every local for, among so many other things, *being honest about how much you were willing to do*. I believe with all my heart that this honesty was a major reason why we had such a phenomenal retreat this year. Thank you all for being real with me. That’s what I want and that’s what I hope to offer to each of you. Despite my deep love for so many far-flung hoop brothers and sisters, you are my first and foremost hoop family, and this event is primarily for and about YOU–because we think you are all amazing, we want to show you off, and we love you “to the bones and beyond” (Laurie). I cannot even find words to express my thanks. You are a rare group of people.
Most of our guests realized at some point during the weekend how much love, attention, and work our locals were pouring into this event, but there are still so many efforts that went by unseen, and all I can say is WE COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU, IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. I LOVE YOU.
Once we began discussions about 2009, now that I look back on it after the fact, it was as if that Energy had already established itself, because we just flowed forward without incident. Most of that was due to the hard work and planning that our 2008 locals had given to this event, and I hold deep gratitude to each of you who participated in that challenging year. We were all stretched to the max, and we tried to bring that into every stage of planning for this year. I feel tremendous joy that several times throughout the weekend, I was able to look around and see locals talking, laughing, hooping, and chillaxing. So grateful…
I did struggle in the first 24 hours of so with just *letting the retreat happen*–it was like I couldn’t accept that it was actually starting. This was really more on Wednesday, the day before most of you arrived. It kept seeming like I could change the channel, somehow, and be in a regular Wednesday with some extra time at the end of the day. I suppose it was the acceleration of time I was resisting. Another lesson in the futility of resistance–but sometimes it’s so difficult to overcome our instincts. I acknowledged it as it was happening and just let myself be in a resistant place. Class that night with my Sweetie helped a lot, as it almost always does. Over 3 years (4 if you count my first HP class ever) my tremendous respect and, really, awe at Baxter’s teaching power is undiminished. In fact, it has only deepened. His great teaching gift gave me, a very unlikely hoop student, an access point into the physical expression of joy and changed my life forever. I am his biggest fan and never get bored in his class, despite a 3-12 hour weekly immersion. I love you, my Sweet Sweet.
Thursday was when I finally felt the Energy in the present moment. I got to Snipes around 2pm to set up tables, and was stunned and dismayed to see that all the folding chairs, which has been set out the day Bax and I went by to check out the space, were nowhere! Mr. and Mrs. Snipes showed me the closet where they had been stored after the last event. I had an “Oh no…” moment, but then strong, beautiful Antje showed up and we got the chairs out in no time. When that ostensible problem became a non-problem, just by presence and doing the work, I felt the first sweet sense of delight that yes, this was our retreat, it was happening, and it was going to be not only good, it was going to be great.
The gentle shift in the weather, away from thunderstorms into the usual mugginess and heat, also lifted my heart and gave me a deeper sense of the presence of Way. All of the sudden, it was easy, effortless, not to worry about the weather or anything that *might happen.* I noticed that despite being aware of *what might happen*, I was just willing to let things happen. What a sweet feeling. Once everyone started arriving at Snipes, and immediately started whipping out hoops and dancing in the light of the setting sun, everything became color, light, motion, Energy. And I knew it really would all be ok.